the new year .:2009:.

okay. just a half hour ago it was the new year. im stuck at home of course tonight.

anyway. 2009 im hoping is gonna be a better and more fun year for me. i wanna be more positive and i want to care about life. 2008 i honestly cant remember too much from it. i know i had some good times, most of us do. but i remember spending most of my year worrying and i dont want 2009 to be like that. which i know is going to be hard. i graduate this year and i have to figure what college im going to and things like that. im going to have to deal with my friends not being by my side physically everyday and im going to have to deal with my parents not always being around. at first that might be exciting but it will be wierd since they've always been around.

i want to grow closer to God. ive been trying all year and it just seems like i keep doubting and not keeping my faith in him. which is a horrible feeling. with everything going on this world, Gods our only hope.

i dont want to fall for guys that will hurt me this year either. considering i have fallen for a guy like that in the last two weeks, its going to be hard. hes no good for me and i know that. but he is sweet at the same time, he just believes in different things then i do. i have a feeling he wanted me for one thing and i think he realized tonight that im not going to give it to him. if he talks to me again im going to be shocked.i really hope he does, i love talking to him.

so there. i thought since i have nothing else better to do i'll just start the new year with this.
peace.