P.S. I Love You

Today, I bought P.S. I Love You and tonight I watched it. It's about a woman who loses her love to a brain tumor and she is learning to get over it. He's helping her get over it by letters he wrote her. it just made me realize how much I take the people I love for granted. It made me cry through the whole movie because I kept thinking of Tom and how I can't stand the thought of losing him. He is my love and I believe that. There is no doubt in my mind that he is the one for me. I know I would sob for days if I lost him. P.S. I Love You is a good reminder to everybody to forever cherish the people you have in your life. You never know when you could lose one of them. Let them know everyday that you love them and never leave being angry. I felt I needed to throw that out there, to remind you, whoever you are.

" We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair." "
-P.S. I Love You

Alright, I don't know how to organize them much better then this. :-)
I tried.



The country is beautiful and I cannot wait to live there. It's my kind of place. I'm done with the city.

I'm done for the night.
Peace.

just breathe, we all need that reminder.

Today was one of those fall days. It was sunny, there was blue sky and a cool breeze. I woke up, took a shower, made some coffee and made my way out the door. I headed over to the shop to talk with my dad and Peter. I had left a note for my mom about lunch at Noodles, so she called me and we went to Noodles N Company for a delicious lunch. Then, I went home, went back to the shop and checked paper and garbages. I texted Tom and asked him if he wanted to go to TJMaxx with me. So at 2:30, he picked me up. I didn't find anything there, so we just drove. I took some pictures of the countryside; that is where I want to live one day and he took me home so he could go to work. I went home and did some homework then went to Target to buy fake Uggs. Then I had a nice home cooked meal of beef stew and bread. I watched Friends and read for a class, which I have yet to finish. It was a pretty good day and I smiled all day. I sung with the radio, which I felt like I haven't done in awhile. I'm happy today and I haven't said that in awhile.

I didn't wake up in time for church. But I know I'll go eventually. I know I don't have to go to church, I know I can talk to Him and praise Him whenever I want. I do need to be surrounded by people who feel the same though. I'll go next weekend, Saturday night maybe.

The Keeper of the Stars = amazing song. Just so you know :-)

5 things I'm grateful for today.
1. my family.
2. tom <3
3. my friends.
4. music.
5. country.

I'm trying to put pictures on here but it won't let me.
I'll put them in a separate post.

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
Hebrews 13:5-6

Matthew 6:34

Alright, today I realized I need to change my outlook on life. I have struggling with life and change. I'm worried about what the future will bring, I'm worried about school and passing my classes, I'm just worried. That's not the way I want to live my life. Everybody has their problems, and we all just need to work through them. Worrying won't do anything and I know that. But it's hard. It's like I've created my own comfortable bubble to live in. But I need to break out of that and challenge myself.

"God will never give you anything you can't handle. So, don't stress."

In the last 5 months, I've been to church once. One time. I feel like that has been a big reason I feel the way I do. I'm lost and only I can find my way again, with God's help. My parents can't do it, my friends, my boyfriend; I do. I'm going to go to church tomorrow and I'm going to change my life, I need to. I'm going to struggle, I realize that. I can't give up, I refuse to. He didn't give me my life just have me waste it away. It's going to be a long journey but I think I'm ready and I know if I believe with my whole heart, God will be right there beside me.

I need to stay positive and smile.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

Peace.

oh, these days.

Well, these days have been pretty busy. Not much excitement in them though, except for seeing my Thomas :-). My days have been filled with running, homework and studying, classes, and working. Oh, it's the life...any who, I am missing my friends like crazy and I have not been too happy lately. But I'm hoping for it to get better. I plan on attending Campus Crusaders, maybe I'll meet some friends there. Hopefully.

Well, that's all I have to say right now. I'm exhausted and I still have some things to get done.
So, peace out.

no title.

Alright, well, I guess I haven't been on here in awhile. Since my last post was in January and it's now September. Slacker. Well, a lot has happened since January. We'll see how much I remember.

Okay, in March my sister and I went to the Dells on Spring Break and one night I get this text from somebody. It's this guy Tom from my high school and he's apologizing because a lot of people were talking about me going out with him even though I had never talked to him before. I had only mentioned to my best friend, Amanda, a few months before that I thought he was cute. So, Tom and I start talking through texting of course all during spring break. I thought he was a sweet guy but how much can you tell through texting. Well, this time I was so right. Tom is now my boyfriend and on Tuesday the 8th, it will be 5 months. He is the sweetest guy ever. He treats me so good and tells me every day he loves me. He gives me confidence. Lately, I've been going through some things and he's been there the whole time. I love him and I really do not know what I would do without him.

Amanda and I had some issues over the summer but that's not really something I want to get into right now.

Right now, I started college on Thursday and that was an overwhelming day. Then, having to go straight to work right after just made it worse. All my best friends went away to college and it sucks. I've been having a hard time with it. I'm actually trying to get another job on the weekends because I have nothing to do. I miss them all and it's driving me crazy. Tom works a lot more now too so it's hard.

I'm trying to turn to God more and trust him more. I haven't been to church since Easter and I plan on going this next weekend. I'm also going to attend the Campus Crusade for Christ at my school in a week. I've been trying to pray more and read the bible more. I've been lost lately and I really need to do this.

Okay, I think that's it for right now.
Peace.

okay...

Well, this past week was okay.

Monday we had off of school. So me, Amanda, and Kelsey went sledding. That was pretty fun. Tuesday and Wednesday we had to finish exams, so we had them in the morning and had shortened classes in the afternoon. Thursday and Friday were nothing spectacular.

I haven't been real happy lately. I've been having issues with anxiety. I can't even remember the last time I felt calm or relaxed. I am constantly worrying and I don't know what to do anymore. I try to pray about it. I feel like I'm not putting enough faith into God and that makes me feel guilty. I hate going to school because of it. I don't enjoy school at all. I just wish I could fully trust that God will help me through this. I talked to my mom and to my best friend about it. They said I have to talk about it, I can't keep it in. I'm trying...

I can't wait until summer. I'm so sick of winter and being cold. I don't want to have to wear so many layers of clothes just to go outside. I don't want to have to start my car in the morning and let it run for 15 minutes, wasting gas. I want to be warm, go to the beach, run outside, go on the atv and go go-carting. I want to drive with my windows down, watch the sunset, look at the stars, and have a bonfire.
5 more months and once again it's on...ain't nothin' like them summer nights.

I am so ready to graduate. I can't stand it anymore.